MOVED

http://catbread.tumblr.com/
Yes i still love cats and i still love this blog. With me since 2004. Aww. Well, move along now:)

I'm thinking about you. Still am.

Again

There's been a few things that's been keeping my mind restless lately.
1) This is the 2nd term of the semester. And 2nd terms are always a bitch because work's thrown at your face one after another. Best part is, i haven't started a shit properly.
2) Thinking too much. About the future.
3) Need to increase body metabolism. (this one's going well)
4) I hate the scars on my body and i really wish they were never ever there.

Every single day sucks up so much energy in me. When i get on my bed, i just have this floaty feeling. I feel so tired just thinking about what to write. No wonder my posts are always short liners. But i really do have lots to say cause there's so much on my mind. They're all over the place and i don't really know how to organize them according to which is most and least important. All of them are fairly important, that's why i think about everything equally as much. But then again, what am i really thinking about?
____________________________________________________________________
I'd never believe in 'you are your greatest enemy/ you are only challenging yourself/ what others say will not affect me etc..' cause y'know every one does think and compare themselves to others, whether in a way letting them get affected by it or not.

We're not as strong as we think we are.

My mom always tells me to be careful of what i say or act towards other people, because people will always talk behind your back. What they want to say is up to them. But my mom always told me to be well-mannered even with people you dislike.

She always says 'You'll respect others. But don't ever let them step over your head'.

These boots are made for walkin'

Her dance steps are very simple for a song like this. HAHAHHAHAHA

SM

Adalah KONSTENG aku.

These walls you find,

They're yours and mine.

'I really don't want anyone to take you away from me.'

Sigh...
The things you do and say to me..

:(

Friends are the family who we choose for ourselves.

Night Festival '09 on Friday

A fantastic idea to have organised such an event. Good for tourist attraction, too. But heck, there was still a whole load of people minus the tourists!! I really enjoyed myself despite the crowd. Everything was well planned, and the area wasn't messy or anything. Lots of things to see except that i didn't manage to go in the museum where there's stuff happening inside too!

The hard thing was that you couldn't see anyone's faces. Only their silhouettes. The artsy fartsy light sculptures got their limelight that way. They were brilliant! Everything was. I love art in many forms. Lol. I am so glad that i went for it. I want more of these kinda events to happen again!

"Art is not made for anybody and is at the same time
for everybody.
Piet Mondrian"

The Midnight Swirl

Malay dance + Chinese music = Interesting

She was walking on a threadmill which was on a thing that was moving. Good balance!

Here's ATC (jem and isa in image), with the kompang crewz

Bersame Hijau

The lights were too bright for the drummer! LOL

The stage from where jan and i were before we moved up front

Explosive

Looks like shooting stars!

The museum's on fire. Whoa! Hahah but it was so amazing

Good night = Good company

Jj Linn Spears

The flea market was already closing by the time we were there which was at about 1am. Took NR7 home. Trip was fast but kinda long. Costed 3.50$!!!! Rip-off. Not like fuel's any more expensive at night. Gee.

I truly love everyone in my life right now.

Here's a little clip i managed to record

In class...

Seeing me sleep is a common sight. Now, spot the constant in the rest of the pictures.

What's white but black in between? HAHAHAHAHAA (i still love you santino)

Pfffffffffftshhhhhhhh

I love KITKAT!!! HAHAHA (I still love you both)

Aww sweet gerlz

Lol!

I LIKE PIGS AND I CANNOT LIE

I don't get this pic HAHAH

Pretty ladies:)

So i gather you've found the constant in the first half of the pictures. Tsk...this indian girl can't get enough (i feel racist today NYAHAHAHA) but i like indians! Selected only. Oh yes, these were taken during tutorial which was health psychology and it was about patients with chronic illnesses, how it affects them and their families stuff like that. We had spare time and i didn't know they were taking pics. Cause i was sleeping. Heh. DEEP SLEEP KNOW. Sometimes i really wonder why i always sleep in class:( i find it an unfortunate thing. It's like i can't control myself to stay awake. Sigh..

Well ok, that's just a taste of typical class life for me.
End.

I love albinoblacksheep

Remember

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself.

Cut and Paste

Me, 2 years old with Abah, 44 years old

Abah, 17 years old and I, 18 years old

An example of an androgynous look. HAHAHHAHAHAHHAA. Oh dear!

RESISTANCE IS POWER.

Drugs. Lust. Yummy pork. Stealing. Alcohol. Sex. Gossip. Skins. Hate. Greed. Murder. Infidelity.

A showcase of sins. Anywhere, everywhere.

But it doesn't mean that that's all there is to it.

There is the good, and the good is always silent.

Fate.

Definition:
something that unavoidably befalls a person (definition #1, dict.com)

I've talked about fate before but the thought of it makes me contemplate about it a lot.

The concept of fate comforts and confuses me.

a) It's like saying you don't have to do or think much about your life cause something's already planned out for you. So no matter what you do, you'll still end up getting or going through that something.

b) On the other hand, it's also like saying that those who rely on fate are too lazy/unsure/not confident of getting what they really want.

In life, it is good not to take chances cause you'll never know if that same chance will come by again. But it may come in another form or opportunity. And when that happens, you either grab it or you don't. If you don't, then well you're not 'fated' to get it in the first place. Second chances perhaps then serves as an affirmation of what you really want or need.

But sometimes, we should just play it safe by not letting go of that one chance at all.

Bal's Wedding:)

A post long overdue! Okay here's my cousin, Baleegha (ba-lee-ra). She's a year older than me and she's married! Oh how blissful that is.... She's technically 364 days older la cause i'm born in 15 feb 91 she's born in 16 feb 90. One of my closest cousins and now she's with someone else. Awwwww

Food was simple and really good. Mutton briyani. Wah shiok. The meat so tender. There was ice-cream too! The ice-cream tender was my primary 2 classmate. Well we're related through the in-laws and stuff. So nice got ice-cream. hahahaha. Then got lots of kuihs also:)

Bal wanted me to help her change out of her gown to another one but i didn't manage to cause Kaktasha wanted to go home. Gr. Asked Bal where she got her purple and gold identical gowns from, and she said they were tailored from sri lanka. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet

Hotshots!

The wedding cake layered with cupcakes which were filled with CREAMMMM (lots of people ate some as you can see)

Abah and i

The 2 neneks:)

Tokwan! :D

Bride waiting for someone..

Happy couple chilling and smiling for the camerasssss

A rather simple but satisfying wedding it was.

Hope Bal will get kids soon!! HEEEEE

Spirit.

We are all living in an extremely challenging world.
Diversity comes with uncertainty. So what is actually right or wrong?
If right-way is one-way, then everything else should be wrong.
Imagine how much wrong we have done.
Differences are questioned, influences become temptations.
There is law and order in this world which has already been made by our Creator.
Our gift to think has been used to create law and order which we thought suited us.
Surely God knows us better than anyone else, even ourselves. We don't even know who we really are or what we need, so how can we say that we are right?
What are we trying to prove when we're in fact, falling into a trap?
We need to protect one another from all things that destroy.
One Day, we will all be awakened and empowered with what Allah has said to us.
And those who truly believe will be guided towards His path of peace and glory.

Subhan'Allah.

ECP date with mates!

I rarely go for pignics. And when i went for this one, i was so excitedddddddddddddddd. Told myself i won't eat so much but nope, so much good junk food to eat and so i ate like a pig. PIGnic so must eat like PIG. Geddit? Bleh

Hui Ling made the cheese tuna mix SO NICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE oh man i'm thinking about it right now. With the roti all. Bleh I just bought drinks. Barley. SHIOK

On the foreground is our tong sampah and background are the ships sailing to england

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this is when i'm looking at my best huahua

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE one of the nicest pics of santiyes

Forgot the name of the game.

Looks like Liyana isn't satisfied with something

Mm..

My guilty face of eating prolly 50% of the food hahah like real

Everyone's happy heh

Monkey with nice body wearing aviators climbing coconutless tree!!

Geng.

Didn't join for cycling or blading though. BUT I HAD FUN HEEEEEEE. K byeeeeebyeeeee

Qword

Top 3 quotes derived from Liyana's top 10 quotes

"Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward".-Kierkegaard


"Never explain yourself: Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it". -Unknown


"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so". -Shakespeare


"It's funny how wisdom never really meant anything but common sense". - Nabila


Hah. Hah. Hah. Hah.

Musicians.

Darrell Ang (Young Associate Conductor of SSO), Brent Kutzle of One Republic, John Mayer

Absolutely stunning men. Absolutely.

And this guy

is just... wow.

FUN STUFF

Puzzle: While being hung, a killer is pulled from the past and into the future. He kills the scientist responsible, and is killed by a burglar, who then starts time machine and is back in the noose of past.


Starting point:

If the burglar and killer are 2 different people, how did the burglar found himself 'back in the noose of the past'?
He must've been the killer who was hung.

Answer :

Working backwards.
X is the same person, living in 2 different dimensions.

The killer actually started off as a burglar.

1) X(burglar) kills X(killer) of the scientist
> X(burglar) was afraid of getting killed by X (killer). So he killed X(killer).
2) Thus X(burglar) was getting hung for killing X(killer)
3) X(burgler who is now killer) is getting hung, only to be pulled to the past.
4) X(now killer) kills scientist not knowing that X(burglar) is coming very soon.

So,
Burglar is past.
Scientist and Time machine is past.
Burglar becomes Killer of scientist in future,

Who gets killed by Burglar from the past
Who gets hung in the future
Who is brought back to the past as Killer of scientist
Who gets killed by Burglar from the past
Who gets hung in the future
Who is brought back to the past as Killer of scientist
Who gets killed by Burglar from the past
Who gets hung in the future

So when the burglar starts the time machine, he's only fast-forwarding his life to get hanged for his murder.
Then the scientist from the past pulls him back to the past, repeating everything again.

Bottomline, he didn't even get killed by the noose, but by himself as a burgler from the past.

[This is a cycle, so the question is phrased in a way that makes the story continuous, making it seem that the killer is from the past, and the scientist + time machine + burglar is from the future.]

There's still a question:
Why would the killer dude kill the scientist??

Possibility:
He may have already been conscious that he was going to get hanged soon in the future. So he tried to control the present (which is the past) by killing the scientist and getting hold of the time machine. But he was too late as the burglar has come. Because the burglar saw the dead scientist on the floor, he was afraid and killed the killer to protect himself. Afterwards, he accidentally started the time machine and fast-forwarded himself to the hanging scene in the future.
He couldn't have escaped from the scientist's lab as the scientist wouldn't have let him [why would the scientist anyway when the guy's an experiment]. So the guy had no choice and ended up killing him.

I gave this puzzle a whole lot of thought and this is the closest i can get and i believe it's the right answer cause it makes sense hahahahahhaha.

OK GOING TO SLEEP NOW NIGHTZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

God made you and God never make mistakes.

A cat's story.

This is my cat. Kittycat was her name.

We called her a lot of names like Kucing, Kitty, Misai (cause she got moustache), kuinui, cheko (my sister's way of saying 'psycho' cause she gets a bit crazy. but thats rare) etc..

But her real name is Kittycat and her tag has her name and my phone number. Her tag was purple in colour but we changed it 3 times to different colours.

My family didn't own her at all. She was just a cat who roamed around the area and one day my 2nd sister spotted her walking past the patio. My 1st sister brought her in. My 2nd sister didn't like her at all cause she said 'germs!!' whenever my 1st sister put Kittycat near her.

But Kittycat was a very lazy cat so she didn't bother to scratch or anything.

And we let her go.

A few days later, in the middle of the night, my 2nd sister woke me up to tell me to see that Kittycat was lying on her back on the carpet of the living room. I was very sleepy so i didn't really bother and went back to sleep.

Day after day Kittycat just kept coming back to the house although we didn't give her any food.

And my sisters thought, maybe we should cause we didn't know if she was fed outside.

So we did. We bought whiskers for her but i don't think she liked that very much and we got her friskies and she liked it a lot. Oh Kittycat likes milo.

I read in the papers that chocolate and dairy isn't good for cats or dogs cause it contains some substance that can be toxic to their bodies. But i still gave her milo occasionally when there was no friskies at home. I didn't wanna let Kittycat go hungry!!

After school everyday, i'll go home and the first thing i do is to find for her at home. She'll always have a certain spot where she chills at like the corner of my parents' bed, or on my bed, or under my bed. It changes depends on her mood.

There are times when i'm sad and i'll just sit on the living room sofa and Kittycat will jump and sit beside me and not say anything. And i'll just talk to her. She does this to whoever is sad. But sometimes she doesn't care.

There were times, during the middle of the night, like at 3am, she'll push my bedroom door open with her paws (you can hear it cause her paw makes some kind of scratchy sound on the door), and she'll jump on my bed and walk around my face and my 2nd sister's face and meows cause she wants food.

I'll just push her off my bed and she'll fall. I feel so bad just thinking about this:(

But who feeds their cat in the middle of the night, right?

Sigh, maybe i should just have fed her. She must have felt so hungry.

Kittycat likes to tan herself under the sun on the patio. I'll let her tan and i'll carry her back home and kiss her head. Her warm fur smells very nice. I can't describe it but it has this very comforting smell.

She had this problem with her fur though, at her butt area. Her fur just keeps balding over there. I think there were fleas or something i don't know cause i don't seem to see any there. But she keeps biting that area and there'll be fur on her mouth. Hahahahahahahhahaha

Oh, after Kittycat has had her meal, she'll sit by the edge of the wall, like how humans sit just that she hunches cause she can't sit straight. She looks like a lump of fat and my father would say 'gemuknye kucing tu tsk tsk'.

She'll sometimes go to the patio and eat the wheat that grows on the plants. I heard that these wheats tickles the cat's throat so that they'll spit out the furballs trapped there.

My Mom would find for her too whenever she comes home and calls out 'good girl good girl...'. Cause Kittycat is a good girl in my Mom's eyes cause she doesn't disturb anyone annoyingly in the family. She isn't a good girl. She's just too lazy to do so.

I never knew how old Kittycat was when she joined the family. All i knew was that she was already big.

She had a lump in her tummy. I discovered it when i was holding her. Then i brought her to the vet. Slowly, the lump disappeared.

5 years after we had her, I shifted house. But we couldn't bring her cause she can't adapt to a new environment. My Dad was still living there though, and he could take care of her. But my Dad didn't really have a good relationship with Kittycat. He treated her like a normal cat but the rest of the family treats her as well, family.

Despite shifting house, i still came often to spend time with her.

One day, when i was at the house, i called her name out 'Kitty..Kitty..where is she?..'

And i saw her walking towards me. I crouched down cause i wanted her to come to me and i'll carry her.

Then suddenly i saw her legs slide to the side.

I got scared.

She tried walking again, and she slided again and she fell on her front.

I was panicking. Why was she so weak???

I called my Mom to tell her what's happened.

I brought her to Mount Pleasant Animal Hospital which was nearby. My Mom joined me after work.

Kittycat was afraid but she didn't meow much.

I was very sad to know that there's something really wrong with her.

The vet kept her in a cage which is like a ward in human sense and gave her a vaccine. My 2nd sister joined my Mom and I after her work.

Kittycat stayed overnight there.

In the wee hours of the morning the next day, i received a call. It was the vet. And she said that Kittycat has passed on and that we have to collect her body soon.

We did and i asked the vet what was wrong she said that Kittycat had feline aids and dengue too.

:(

Guess my cat got it when she fought with some other cats. She was anti-social and didn't like other cats to disturb her. Sigh.

My Dad and i dug a small hole near the house and buried her there. I tried finding a landmark and count how many steps it was from her grave. I'm afraid i forgot how many steps it is:(

I think it's 9?

Well, she's turned to grass now.

She really was something special to the family. Although none of us knew of her past, or her personal life. Never knew where she came from, if she had kittens before etc..

Oh wells, we all still think about her :)

I love cats.

But i loved this cat very very much:)

Term 1

So far we've had minimal assessments. Even so, i'm feeling EXTREMELY afraid of what i'll get for my essay. I really need an A. No joke!

Why didn't i think of where my resources can be found. WHYWHYWHY!!! Only when i handed it in then did i realize oh yeh the arts house could probably have something useful. BUT NO. Sigh i feel disturbed.

Nowadays whenever i feel like skipping school, i'll tell myself this:
Top students don't skip school.

I'm fantasizing but it does push me.

Another thought: I want a car:( a jaguar. That's my ultimate dream car and it's not even a lambo or lotus. SIGH. And i wanna learn how to drift drive and i wanna learn how to fly a plane.

Hmm.

Last night is a time when i'll remember every single word said.

When all the people who took care of you give you such opposing thoughts and opinions about something you care so much about, you'll find yourself lost. What should i do?

Now's a time when i should think for myself, based on what i hear from others and what i hear within myself. It's not easy but there's only so much that anyone can do for me.

Indeed love doesn't blind you. Love actually wakes you up. Big time.

The mind tells, the heart leads.

A person's greatest fear is not about losing to others, but is losing yourself on the road to success.

Death.

Are you proud with what you've done?

Are you really proud of yourself?

Portishead - Glory Box

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF-GvT8Clnk

mmmmmm yummy song...

Constantly searching for the most important person in my life.
Me.

Essay #2

Date: 14/08/07
Title: Argentina!

The truth is i never left you...all through my wild days...my mad existence... hahaha song stuck in my head. The feeling of exhaustion is penetrating through my LEGS and my head. Oh, my eyes too. I'm not even doing much and it feels like I've run a marathon. What is coming over me? Maybe too much daytime thoughts dragged into night. And the following nights, and the night after. And i strongly feel like i'm spitting rubbish from my head right down to my hands. Dang, the library's closing in 30 minutes. Thought it closes at 10. So i've done a chapter of S.S. which i hope will appear in the papers. 2 days till Geography test. Haven't touched a single thing for Agriculture? Ho yea. Ok this is absolutely dumb. I need to better my england! C'mon, more descriptions, more adjectives. Mine's too limited. Better not forget to read every night before i sleep. Maybe my head would suck in a bit of 'impugn' or 'ikxwzy' or something along the lines. I am wasting my ink. Everyone's leaving the library while i sit here, just writing whatever my hands can say. Observing how enthusiastic and focused the guy infront of me is with his i-think-its-physics work. Sigh. I need to fucking buck-up. Get into a decent course in the poly and just move on man! What the fucking hell am i talking about? Sheeshez! Ok now i have to go home and do at least 8 questions of math, considering that i have tuition tmr and need to produce something 'effortive' to show Cikyati tha i DID do something mathsy for once. God, math in school was ughbleaghwhatwhy? Plus those heavy eyelids couldn't take it baby. And i still can't believe the library closes at 9. How frustrating! Ah, Eh, Oh? I taknak balik sekarang la! My neck hurts. My back hurts. But i'm not getting old just yet. I hear the keyboard. I want my own laptop. TP or SP? Would i have time to work if i have school 3 hrs away from home? Gee i really wanna work so i don't have to starve myself or live on biscuits and bread. I need to shop. -dusts closet- You know what, i'm going home.

So competitive, so shallow, no brains, no soul.

Essay #1

I found a buncha essays i wrote during my free time when i was 16, and i guess i'll type them out here one essay at a time.
_____________________________________________________________________

Date: Not sure exactly when but as you can tell, during Ramadhan in 2007
Title: Writing for flavour. (also can be known as Hari Raya stress mode)

Now what is magic? I pray thee tell. Magic is when a story comes to life when it is hand written by the writer herself. Now i want to share with you about how shitty my life is currently.

Being a 16 year-old malay girl is not as easy as it may seem (if it does seem easy that is). Especially when MAJOR exams clash with the festive season. I wasn't affected by that fact at first but as hari raya draws closer, i feel like i haven't got any new shoes or baju kurung for myself! (Don't know what's baju kurung? Ask your uncle) Ok that's not something very important to worry about actually.

What about not having studied for 4 days straight. I'm acting like a champion even before a single exam paper has started. Holy hell! See, that's the disadvantage when you get into the festive mood which is, like i said, unnecessary to think or worry about for that matter.

I'm getting lesser and lesser for hari raya as far as money is concerned. Each family would just make it an excuse that i look old enough not to get any green packet. Cheapskate. No wonder i'm not as excited for hari raya as i was before. I'm getting poorer. Literally. I won't get enough money to buy the things i've planned to get. But i guess it's okay cause i'm gonna work! At starbucks!

I'll just follow the parents visit the relatives and friends who i only meet once a year. Mengikatkan perhubungan selepas satu tahun. Macam ia boleh diikatkan gitu eh. Anyways, i guess it wouldn't be bad cause i get to taste all the different traditional cookies. You know, you can actually tell the difference between a factory-made one to a home-made one and i really hate the factory-made cookies! Bloody unfresh. And it has this factory-made kick to it. Like the flour is too crumbly and hard. But whatever it is, i'll just eat whatever is at whoever's house to keep me preoccupied than listening to the talks of old people.

Ok enough rambling about hari raya. Exams' bugging me 70%-110% of the time. When can i ever have peace? Technically one month from now. Then i can be alone and watch a sunset. Ah.. pure liberation from secondary school life.

Maybe i should start thinking about now than later. I need a drive to work.

That's about it for now. Not sure what the hell i've been talking about this whole entry? Try http://www.wikipedia.org/ and type in Hari Raya Aidilfitri in the search bar. It's really cool. Go wiki! :D
_____________________________________________________________________

how many P's are there in the tongue twister PETER PIPER

A poem.

is a poem lah..if boring go youtubes
k fishes are swimming in my pants
with its fins stuck in between my pubes
catching some of it with my hands

sitting at coffee bean with beans around us
thinking of what to eat with no money
as the beans grew wild, they started growing tusks
and mats started dancing with Mariam Kari

so you see this is how the poem will end
if got comment, sorry, no tagboard
we wrote our nonsense poem here cause we got no pen
IF YOU HAVE ONE, give whatever you've got!

(HUH?!?!)
PS: RAWKING RIGHT?!!

Written by: F&N

Interesting day..interesting day..

MI malay dance SYF

Dance was held at a place far far away from home, on the other side of the country - NUS UCC! Plus, ham joined us at the last minute despite knowing that we'd be late. Lol! Well that's what we went through for you suf.

Watched lots of schools performed but i'd still say NJC's was the best among the rest:) And 2nd would be MI and then MJC:) Ok that's for me! No hard feelings sufy. ahhahahaha. And all the goldies performed for a 2nd time at taman warisan yesterday which was the one i took a video of.

Everyone looked good and looked good dancing too!

only sufie's pretty in here glaglagla

that's the handkerchief sufie used to wipe her armpits before dancing. ew

that's a buncha pretty girls!

Video!