Been up to lots lately. Haven't been online much either. My extremely long holidays were never like this before. I was dead bored most of the time then but not now. All the more i'm embracing my time spent at home:)

Anyways i've been experiencing lots of emotions. About so many things. But what i'm saying sums it all.

I can't wait to really grow up and live in my 20s. It's fun being a teenager but it's tiring. Being foolish and not caring all the time. I don't want to be carefree. I want to care. I want life to get real for me. I wanna do things, open up my mind and eyes and be absolutely aware of the consequences of my actions. Instead of being oblivious to it and end up looking in the mirror and see myself as stupid and gullible. Which i do. I want to grow up and not be stuck in this brightly coloured teen box. I wanna stand on a world which i see that is solid and boldly coloured.

I know that teenlife is the time when you're discovering yourself. Doing almost everything you can just to prove yourself cause you're nothing and you're trying to make something out of that nothing. Even if it's things that come with a heavy price. Even if it's things that are beyond you. Some things work, some things don't. And there are the things that don't work but you tell yourself that it does. The power of a sleeping mind.

Ah wells.

I've learned that at the end of the day, nothing else matters except your soul. That's the one thing should be taken care of wholeheartedly right from the start. Because that's the only thing that truly lasts forever.